Great Conversations Don't Just Happen

It was a casual catch-up luncheon with one of our neighbors. The outdoor setting was great with mountain views, blue skies and two pesky roadrunners running around our tables begging for food scraps. But what struck me was the relaxed conversation that seemed to go on forever and that said, without apology. Prices had gone up; staff help was hard to find and it would have been cheaper to stay home and eat there. It was the conversation that made the two and a half hours enjoyable and worth the price.

Great conversations usually don’t happen by accident. That meal at the country club wasn’t planned or choreographed; it just happened. Usually, a great conversation needs interested parties, a relaxed setting, and cerebral mindsets willing to venture through various subject matter. It also needs a social infrastructure where co-mingling not only occurs but is encouraged.

It can happen any place in the world. Perhaps in a pub in Ireland, England, or Scotland with a pint of Ale. Sharon and I had that with Melanie when we visited her in Ireland during her Study Abroad program there.

It can be in a Paris café with a tiny cup of strong black espresso, meant to be sipped for hours on end. I had that in Paris after my sojourn from Denmark. It is the sharing of ideas and facts and history shared with a perfect stranger I’ve never seen again.

Back in the day, families went out on Sunday afternoon to visit other families for conversation and coffee. Intellectuals, bohemians, and the like had their salon. Children and adults sat around the campfire and told stories. My buddies and I loved to go tramping through the woods with good boots and a thermos.

The military has its bullshit and bravado sessions. Workers have their shop talk and techies talk code. Conversations come in every shape, form, configuration, and stated purpose. It can be two friends sharing, lovers intimate cooing and delightful banter about nothing in particular. Coffee shops used to be the ‘go to’ spot for such happenings but now many of them, including a global giant are removing seating inside and just encouraging drive-thru and grab-and-go traffic. Undeterred and with the threat of close contact indoors, I found a solution outdoors.

It started for me about three years ago when my ultra-conservative pool man and I actually found common ground in that swampland called politics. Our sparing back and forth led to some very interesting and revealing (on both our parts) conversations. I thought it would be interesting to try to continue that cerebral banter once I got back home.

My early morning chat sessions began with six friends and associates I simply wanted to talk to. So, I came up with the idea of a C & C; a coffee and chat session. It was always outdoors and usually first thing in the morning before our regular lives took hold of our day.

Then it grew last year with eight and now ten folks whom I meet-up with to chat about anything and everything. It’s neither formal nor structured. Some are only once or twice a summer while others are much more frequently. But they all bring something different to the table.

Different folks, different backgrounds, different perspectives. We’ve managed to avoid talking about politics unless our views are in close alignment. Even then I’d rather talk about something fun, enjoyable, stimulating, thought-provoking or satisfying.

These sessions are different from the ones I had around Dinky town many years ago. They aren’t the other legendary gathering spots like the Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle, The Neutral Grounds in New Orleans or Civilization in Cleveland, Ohio but their content is the same. A place to meet, share thoughts and ideas and feel comfort in the security of honest conversation with a friend. Life’s too short to go without either one.