Sophia Gets It

Four-year-olds are a lot more intuitive, introspective, and understanding than most adults give them credit for. That includes a lot of well-meaning parents who don’t want to rush their toddlers into the ‘real world’ too soon. The fact is, children as young as three and four may not understand the emotions of anger, fear, pain, and loneliness but they do feel them nevertheless.

What parents might consider ‘adult emotions’ are felt just as strongly and deeply by toddlers as their older siblings. While they may not be able to verbalize those feelings, they are present and should be recognized for what they are; real emotions. Waleed, my skinny hippo, seems to have struck a chord of understanding with that age group. Now a four-year-old and a Ph.D. have lent validation to that fact.

This summer, I had the opportunity to talk to Dr. Sharon Bergan, professor of early childhood education at Dakota County Technical College. She had been introduced to my children’s series, ‘Waleed, the Skinny Hippo’, and loved the storylines in both books.

During our conversation, Dr. Bergen educated me on the subtle nuances that adults often misread or misunderstand about their children. It turns out that toddlers ‘get it’ a lot more often than we give them credit for. Kids are often a lot more insightful than they might seem on the surface.

I got validation of that theory first hand from a friend of mine. His first grandchild, Sophia, is a real fan of both my ‘Waleed’ children’s books. After her initial introduction to the skinny hippo, Waleed became the ‘go to’ book whenever Sophia came to visit grandma and grandpa.

This validation by Sophia was particularly gratifying because I had felt when I began writing the series that I wanted the little insecure hippo to tackle adult feelings and emotions that are usually not addressed in most children’s books.

That particular deep-seated prejudice on my part stemmed from the way I was treated as a child growing up. The adults around me, most of them staunch rural German Catholics, saw children as labor around the farm, chore boys, and household help. These purveyors of the old way of doing things saw no value in young minds until they’d been indoctrinated by the church, school and authorities. ‘Dick and Jane visit the farm’ was not the approach I was going to take in telling my story of this skinny insecure hippo.

Book one was a rather simple story of a hippopotamus that wasn’t like all the other hippos. Waleed was skinny and feeling very unsure of himself because of his slender physique instead of the robust form of the other hippos. Gradually, the story evolved into a children’s moral tale or fable with a wise old fish, indifferent fellow hippos and one sad little guy.

Book Two took the same kind of projection. It covered the theme of ‘facing one’s fears.’ Both ‘being different’ and ‘facing one’s fears’ were emotions I felt at a very young age but never had an adult who could explain them to me. Meeting with Dr. Bergen was very helpful in terms of my understanding the child’s mind at that early stage in life.

Dr. Bergen reminded me that Waleed like Sophia only think of themselves at this stage in their development. First me, then others. So, my goal in telling both stories was to educate Waleed but also to think of others. Dr. Bergen encouraged me not be afraid to use big words. She said it would not intimidate children like Sophia.

The most interesting part of our conversation were her suggestions for future themes in the Waleed series. I’ve outlined in very rough form some of the thoughts Dr. Bergen shared with me that day.

Sadness

Events where a child might feel sadness include a grandparent passing, a pet is lost or dies, divorce, moving away and leaving friends, can’t have that toy. In these instances of a child feeling sadness, the response from a parents should be: It’s okay.  I get it.  Happiness will return but perhaps not right now. This event might tell the child how important that thing/item/person/event is to them in their lives.

Anger

Teaching about anger can lead to social justice. Parent tell child that it is okay to be angry. They can say: Use your words to express your feelings. Get them out. Understand what it is (person, incident, event) that makes you feel this way. Now, what can we do with that energy (of being angry.)

Connections

It can be hard if you want to join a group or make a new friend. Ask an adult to help make those connections.  Be brave. The way to make connections might be to help others, join a group. It can be scary but you must keep trying. It is okay to take a chance, take a risk that someone will not be nice to you in return or may not want you to join the group. But you MUST keep trying to make connections. Take a chance even with the fear of failure.

Failure

Everyone feels the fear of failure. Failure is a part of life. It is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried in the first place. No one will ever ‘not fail.’ Anything worth doing, pursuing, trying to achieve is worth the chance of failing at attempting it. Failure is NOT the issue. How one handles failure is the more important thing to know and understand.

When I’m ready to begin a third book in the Waleed series, I think my theme will be ‘being kind.’ There’s a plethora of examples that should lend themselves to some very colorful visual images.

1. Being kind
1. Helping others
2. Thinking of others
3. Lending a helping hand
4. Caring for someone else
5. Being aware of other’s feelings
6. Being supportive in their time of need.

My goal, as always, will be to help the young reader identify with my Waleed character much like readers identified with characters in the Harry Potter series and creatures created by Dr. Seuss. I’ll be trying to find more Sophia’s out there to discover my favorite little hippo.

Waleed Does the Jungle

Waleed, the Skinny Hippo, is off on another adventure. This one is full of dark shadows, scary eyes and strange thumping sounds off in the distance. All the ingredients wrapped around another enlightening tale for our loveable hippo. This new theme is one that’s been a thorn in my side since birth. The old familiar refrain from that older generation to mine that counters the truth: That is, that ‘being afraid doesn’t make you a coward’ and ‘strange sounds can be scary’ to very young imaginations.

This new Waleed story idea came into focus last fall. But truth be told, it had been hiding in the shadows of my mind for a very long time. Since its first publication, Waleed, the Skinny Hippo, book # 1, (Being Different) has been searching for a home. Individual purchases have been nice but I was looking a larger audience. I decided that having a second book in the series might make both stories more attractive to potential buyers.

The first Waleed book discussed the feeling of ‘being different from others.’ This second book would discuss ‘facing one’s fears.’ Without a lot of fanfare and deep thought, this second story also evolved into a children’s moral tale that I hoped might strike a chord of interest with children and their parents.

For as long as I can remember, my parent’s generation thought that ignoring a child’s fear or dismissing their concerns about scary things was the right approach to take. That generation wanted us kids to ‘man up’ and face our fears. That monster under our bed didn’t exist and we should know that. Hesitation and stage fright and being uncomfortable in front of others was a challenge to be faced and/or ignored but never addressed in a caring, comforting way. As young as I was, I knew that was bullshit but never had the courage to challenge my elder’s stance on it.

As with the first Waleed book, I wanted this new book to have strong, bright colors, cute animals, and attractive surroundings. Authenticity was important in that all the animals had to be indigenous to the location of the story. In this case, the story takes place in a dark, scary jungle.

Years before, I had initially worked with an illustrator who created one cover illustration which I loved. Unfortunately, over the ensuing months, nothing much happened in terms of creating this children’s story. Fast forward to a drought in my writing projects a while back and my editor, Vida, suggested we revisit my children’s story about the little hippo that couldn’t face the fact that he was different from his fellow hippos.

Back then, Vida and I found 92 different illustrators from five web sites to review. That, in turn, was whittled down to four characters I really liked. Finally, we settled on two artists who seemed to meet my criteria of a drawing of a cute and cuddly little skinny hippo.

Waleed, in Swahili, means ‘he who hides.’ That, in turn, seemed the perfect male’s name that best described someone who was an introvert and afraid of his own shadow. The name matched perfectly my loveable tiny hippopotamus.

The final winner was an artist out of Bangladesh who goes by the artist’s name of Shamima. Her drawing of little Waleed won my heart over. When we were ready for a second book in the Waleed series, Shamima readily agreed to draw it for us.

Marketing is always the Achilles heel for many writers, present company included. A couple of years ago, I entered Waleed in the Minnesota Children’s Book Festival in Red Wing and got some nice comments but no prize. Then I thought a very nice article our local newspaper published last summer might spur some interest but it didn’t.

So, this spring, another new marketing campaign will attempt to bring the story of Waleed, the Skinny Hippo to youthful populations in the Twin Cities and beyond. Waleed just might be the little hippo that shows all of us a new way of looking at life.

There’s even a third book idea edging its way into my consciousness, ‘Being kind.’ But that’s shaping up to be another story entirely.

Facing Our Fears

In most cases today, normal childhood fears are handled differently than when I was a kid. The generation that proceeded us; our parents and their parents, grew up in a very different world. World War One, the Great Depression, World War Two put all of them in a survival mode. In turn, they wanted to pass on that toughness to their children.

Resiliency, self-preservation, and basic survival instincts abound. One took care of him or herself. You faced challenges head on. And if you could; so, should your kids. When the youngsters showed fear, you had a ready answer for their fears:

‘There’s nothing to be afraid of.’ ‘It’s all in your head.’ ‘Be a man.’ ‘Grow up.’ ‘Get over it.’

Of course, that belligerent, boisterous, manly response did little to nothing to alleviate the normal fears facing the child. It just taught them to ‘shut up’ and ‘don’t bring it up again.’ That truism never left me and now I can face it one more time…with the help of a little hippopotamus.

There are very few genres I haven’t at least tip-toed around in my writing explorations. I’ve helped find love for two older single gay men. I’ve been an interested observer for a woman in a polyamorous relationship. I’ve scanned the Western horizon for signs of Indian troubles and slashed my way through the thick jungles of Vietnam. My girlfriend and I’ve even run in terror from shift-changers through the ruins of Angkor Watt.

But to cozy up to an insecure, skinny hippo in the Pangani River under the shadow of Mount Kilimanjaro was an entirely new experience for me. Undaunted by the challenge of talking to ‘little people’ verses my more mature crowd of readers, I stumbled ahead.

My first children’s book: ‘Waleed, the Skinny Hippo was the story of a skinny hippo who learns from a very wise fish that’s okay to be different. In fact, being different is something to embrace and welcome he is told. Feedback on this first version of ‘Waleed, the Skinny Hippo’ was fantastic. People loved the bright colored pages, the cute and cuddly Waleed, and the moral tale of accepting oneself as you are.

As proud as I am of this first version, I wanted to expand its reach as much as I could. So, Vida and I decided to create two new versions of the first Waleed. So now I’m happy to report that besides being translated into Swahili, Waleed is now also available in both Spanish and Hmong.

Despite the slow steps taken in marketing Waleed, it was time to think about a second book in the ‘Waleed’ children’s book series. I decided that this next book would discuss the ‘concept of facing one’s fears.’

As mentioned before, the idea of being afraid came from clichés thrown at me and other kids growing up. Unfortunately, it was from a generation that thought tough love meant little affection and manning up to one’s fears. I’ve always thought that denying one’s fears or trying to ignore them was the wrong approach.

Based on that wrong approach and trying to correct it, I wanted to write a moral tale about facing one’s fears but not necessarily conquering them. I honestly don’t know if that is possible, especially for a little kid. The story, as it’s been roughed out thus far, is pretty straight-forward.

Waleed is told about a magical river on the other side of the jungle. He is encouraged to go there and play with other hippos. But to get there Waleed must pass through this deep, dark and perceived dangerous jungle. All of his friends leave him and enter the jungle. Waleed is all alone. He doesn’t know what to do. Finally, he gathers up his courage and he too enters the dark jungle.

There are all kinds of scary sights and sounds in the jungle. Just about the time that Waleed decides to turn around and run away, he meets a wise elephant who talks to him about facing his fears and dealing with them.

I felt it was important to steer away from the clichés and pat-phrases I had been bombarded with as a child. While that older generation might have felt they were only trying to help, I think a lot of that advice fell far short of being helpful. The older generational ideas of masculinity and bravado proved to be obstacles to truly dealing with one’s fears.

Waleed learns that fear can be managed and might not go away entirely. He learns from a wise old elephant that it is perfectly okay to be fearful of sights and sounds and things that might not bother other hippos. Like dealing with his weight, Waleed learns that he is unique as a little skinny hippo and he must handle his fear as he feels best suits him.

That’s where the book stands now just before publication. I think Waleed and I are both very satisfied with its message. For humans and hippos alike, it’s pretty good advice.

Summer of Strange Occurrences

Sharon broke her right arm three days before leaving Palm Springs this spring. Thus began a rather disjointed (pardon the pun) and disruptive summer for both of us back in Minnesota. Of course, her broken arm was her good arm. So, suddenly sporting a cast for more than five weeks, made her feel unbalanced and (understandably) it was difficult it for her to navigate steps and stairs. The accident also made it more difficult for her to continue her painting projects.

So began a summer of adjustments for Sharon’s new situation and a real challenge for her to continue painting as she had in the past. It also involved two trips weekly; one to Edina and another to Red Wing to deal with therapy and rehabilitation. You do what you have to do.

My Coffee and Chat sessions also went through some adjustments as a couple of folks disappeared entirely and others found more interesting ways to spend their time. The core friends that remained formed a tight bond over the summer. Over the ensuing months, we had some fabulous conversations; solving many of the world’s problems in just one sitting.

I finally got an E-bike and wanted to restart my beloved long distance Twin Cities bike rides. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find a suitable e-bike carrying rack so I had to confine my rides to Apple Valley and its surrounding communities.

A sibling gathering up at Lake Vermillion proved a wonderful opportunity for Sharon and her sister and two brothers to finally find time for themselves sans kids and grandkids. A grand time was had by all.

Sharon and I managed to find time for a long weekend in Colorado. At this stage in their lives, Brian and Amy have three kids knee-deep in all kinds of school activities and sports. It was a quick taste of their crazy, hectic wonderful life raising three kids in today’s hurry-up lifestyle. Now we can just sit on the sidelines, cheering our grandkids on and enjoying their success.

A move script outline that had laid dormant for years finally rose above the rest of my other writing projects. Starting to write ‘Habitat for Humility’ proved much harder than I thought. Movie scripts differ from plays in their organic composition; demanding many more subtle nuances from both the characters and the subliminal story lines.

‘Broken Down Palace,’ My book of poetry, finally came out to great response among friends. It was a project six months in the making and I was glad to have it finally done.

My very personal play ‘Frenchy’s Eats’ took a lot longer to finish and is now in the recrafting stage.

My latest play, ‘By the Salton Sea,’ was not accepted by last year’s venue (out of 130 submissions) so I hope to present it to other venues instead.

After months of searching, I was finally able to meet up with a musician who seemed interested in helping me create a sound track of nine songs for my play ‘PTV.’ After our initial meeting, I have high hopes of collaborating with him to craft songs that fit the time, place and mood of my play. If that works out, I have more musicals to score.

Through my old illustrator, I am creating a second book in the Waleed series. This one deals with ‘being afraid’ and facing one’s fears. A friend encouraged me to do an audio version of Waleed, the Skinny Hippo. So, I hope to have audio versions of both books soon.

We’ll be returning to Palm Springs early this fall. Last year’s play ‘Widow’s Waltz’ has been nominated for six different awards by the Desert Theatre League. The awards banquet is October 1^st. It would be a real thrill to see my play win some awards.

After a summer like no other, I hope Sharon and I can get back to our respective passions of writing and art.

Sweetpea Progress Report

Ten years ago, when my grandchildren were at those precious ages of three through seven, I had this brilliant idea of creating a comic strip centered around their lives. Great idea; bad timing.

Back then, there were four or five major syndicators who distributed comic strips to newspapers and magazines worldwide. My, how things have changed in a relatively short ten years! First of all, the kids have grown up and lost their childish beauty and charm. They’ve become older, maturing (perhaps) beyond their years, and growing into responsible young adults.

All I have left of that earlier period are a lot of pictures and the memories of their cute antics, questions, and wonderment at the world. But, I hope, those memories are enough to recreate that Camelot period before formal education, peer influences, and a growing awareness of the sometimes-confusing world around them took away their childish charm. The challenge arises in finding a new means of world-wide distribution because the old way of disseminating comic strips no longer exists.

Nowadays, there are only two or three syndicators for a limited number of newspapers around the globe. Newspapers themselves are slowly dying out or morphing into other forms of information and entertainment. For the most part, comic strips have transitioned to the internet and web distribution. It’s a now whole new ballgame out there now.

Comic strip distribution on the internet has become the new frontier.

My first tentative toe-steps into the world of illustrations had to do with a skinny hippo and his fear of being different. ‘Waleed, the Skinny Hippo’ was written about ten years ago but languished because of the lack of an illustrator. Fast-forward to last winter and my editor and I found our answer half way around the world.

Through a serendipitous series of events my editor and I found a plethora of freelance artists and illustrators on line. After thoroughly reviewing more than ninety-four, we chose an illustrator named Shamina from Bangladesh to create my skinny hippo called Waleed.

After that successful experience, Vida and I turned out eye toward someone who could recreate cartoon versions of my grandchildren. Once we found a comic strip artist named Santijury, we were off to the races.

The first comic strip turned out great. It was a bit silly but it did a good job of capturing Sweetpea and her gang in a manner I thought representative of future comic strips. Then we created a sampler of three more comic strips to really test the waters and elicit feedback on the viability of the project.

Click here to view a 3-strip sampler and give feedback on the new Sweetpea & The Gang!

After putting our respective heads together, Sharon and I and my editor agreed that the series, if it were to proceed, would be edgy but tempered with sensitivity and not afraid to cover a host of relevant, timely issues.

I was fortunate to get some great feedback from several writing associates whose judgement I respected. The fact that they were Moms themselves only added to their credibility.

So what are the next steps?

First, we have to thorough examine the feedback on the sampler; likes, dislikes, themes apparent, themes not to apparent, common thoughts and interests, objections, concerns, etc. The whole gamut of responses that I’ll need to best judge if this is a viable idea or not. Based on that feedback, do we want to proceed building an inventory of 30 to 50 comic strips?

We must also do extensive research into the present-day opportunities for placement on the web, world-wide distribution.

Then there is the whole question of monetizing this project. At a certain point, I’ve got to decide if I’ve paid a lot of money for an inventory of cute comic strips based on my grandchildren or I have a viable business plan that can make some money.

The common consensus among the players in the field is that the most realistic business model is to offer free-to-consumer, ad-subsidized content, which then trades on audience loyalty by selling books, T-shirts, merchandise, and original art.

The whole question boils down to; is this the route I want to go? Is this what I want to create and then do into the foreseeable future? Or was this just a cute idea, not really viable over the long term and an expenditure of money well spent to create a series of comic strips of my grandchildren.

I guess time will tell.