Real Housewives of the Twin Cities

This would probably make any realtor cringe. The idea that, for some, home-buying is a beauty contest draped in stately homes, manicured lawns, a little red school house for precious cherubs and a blissful existence for any and all who enter its realm. This is in line with the preachings of The Journal of Consumer Affairs which ranks (tongue stuck in cheek) the ‘best places to live’ around the country. Their curated list, in turn, ranks in the same category as the home-buying philosophy found in Money Magazine, People Magazine, and YouTube videos.

Anyone and everyone, with their own vested interest, can tell you where the best place to live might be. The reality is that home-buying is often a game in which it’s the best façade that wins in terms of pedigree, history, desirable zip codes and the illusion that says once there, ‘you’ve arrived.’

It seems as if Lakeville wants to be the new Edina. Edina wants to keep its crown while the outlier suburbs want a piece of that action too. Highland Park has kept its panache and St. Louis Park seems to want theirs back by rebranding itself ‘Westapolis.’ Then there are other communities like Burnsville who wonder what happened to their once esteemed status in the greater pecking order of ‘I have arrived’ homes. Minnetonka Beach seems to have grabbed that title from them for now.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand the ‘hype.’ I live in California half the year and certainly get it in terms of presenting the best home-buying package possible. Yet, it’s been interesting to watch what’s happening with home-buying in the Twin Cities? It used to be so clear and simple. Where you lived was often determined by proximity to jobs, schools, retail and entertainment. While that equation hasn’t changed its coat of many colors, the real estate lexicon has evolved with the times.

I’ve been out of the real estate game for some time now but my interest hasn’t diminished over the years. With the miles traveled, it’s often interesting, amusing and at times perplexing to me to see what the current market is like. It seems that what’s old is new again and current trends often reflect past events, only with new costumes and ‘hot’ labels instead.

When my family first moved to Apple Valley in the late Seventies, it was Burnsville that held the title as the fastest growing community south of the river. It had great schools, brand new housing developments and a thriving commercial component.

Apple Valley was no slouch itself but was still in its infancy, having just been newly minted Apple Valley from its old moniker of Lebanon Township. My, how times have changed. The city now boasts a large collection of apartments, condominiums and senior housing at its core and leafy large lot homes surrounding downtown.

Back then, South of Apple Valley was only farm land. Rosemount, Lakeville, and Farmington were still tiny hamlets only connected by narrow two-lane blacktop roads.

Out west, Eden Prairie was just starting to grow as an alternative to the western suburbs that nestled around Lake Minnetonka. Wayzata, Orono and others were still relatively untouched by growth and development.

Now Lakeville has claimed its title as the place to be with its higher end homes, two high schools, growing retail outlets and plenty of land to develop.

Unfortunately, the removal of all ‘inclusion posters’ in its schools because a few parents want them gone doesn’t speak well of its inclusionary façade. It would almost seem as if they don’t want ‘those people infecting their tony communities.’ Lake Elmo seems to have suffered from the same malaise. Which is an interesting juxtaposition since the quality of the school district still seems to be the prevailing number one factor on what young families are looking for in their new address.

From my perch as an outsider for six months out of the year, I’m not influenced by the daily weather conditions, traffic jams, political charades, brain-numbing newscasts and other distractions from what’s really happening in my hometown. To be clear, I love Minnesota and wouldn’t want to live anyplace else. But it isn’t all ‘puff and stuff’ despite what the latest housing blitz wants you to believe.

I still believe some of the best values can be found in my city’s older neighborhoods with their solid Orin Thompson build homes, large lots, easy access to parks and amenities, reliable city services and overall friendly neighbors. We don’t need ten years and mature trees to see those values, they’re already there.

In my community and others like it, there are still solid home-grown values that the new administration in D.C., outstate politicians, and ‘back to the past’ dreamers want you to believe have changed for the worst. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Even with its age-related spots, Minnesota is still full of ‘Yeah, you bet-cha’ friendly folks who will quickly lend a helping hand.  Its core values of goodness haven’t changed despite the rhetoric and antics by some who wish otherwise. If you’re going to live anyplace, Minnesota is as good a place as any.  I’ve lived that reality all my life and so has my family.

And proud of it.

Five Years in the Wilderness

Whether we were aware of it or not, many of us had our lives mapped out pretty clearly from the beginning. Growing up, most of us followed a pattern of education, social engagement, romantic venturing and finally settling down into a routine called married life. It’s all very conforming, comfortable for the most part and expected…..for most folks but not all of us.

When my buddies and I were young and dumb, the world was a rainbow landscape full of wonderful adventures and opportunities. Each of us set out to become whatever we thought we could/should/would become at the time. The world was our oyster and we meant to have it all…and we did. One a doctor, one a writer, and one a priest.

Fast forward five or so years and a great number of my high school classmates were gett-ing married, having kids and settling down into a lifetime of work and routine. Not me.  I was still ruminating over career choices that involved creativity and was about as far from a 9-to-5 existence as I could possibly imagine. Unlike a lot of my friends, it took me about five years wandering and wondering until my focus became clear…that is, what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

My five years wandering in that proverbial wilderness (1966-1971) began right after the service, continued while living in Europe and culminated in circling around life choices that began as avocations and ended up becoming my career. Along the way, there were plenty of stumbles, detours, hurt feelings, high expectations, false hopes, and blind ambitions to fill each day.

One thing that fortified me on this journey were the friendships, abet seldom lasting, that I made along the way. These were fellow wanderers who were as confused yet hopeful as I was. It was an exciting time to be working in public television, hanging out at the Triangle Bar and tasting the silliness that only bachelorhood can provide.

A lucky encounter one evening at work signaled the beginning of the end to my wandering.

Ernest Hemingway is quoted as saying that life is like a bank account. How you use it is solely your determination. You can withdraw it in a hurry and live a very short life. Or you can be diligent with your withdrawals and live, hopefully, much longer.

It’s been forty or fifty years since many of us turned twenty-one and shed our cloak of anonymity to adorn ourselves with the costume of adulthood. Now we’re at a point in our lives where reflection is more than a glass of chardonnay framed within a sunset or a cold brew among high school buddies.

We’ve let life’s ebb and flow (call it our gypsy muse) guide us in this rhythm of life. For most of us, the process was organic and without a lot of thought. Life investments were made, squandered, lost, accumulated, divested and set aside. Some things worked out and some things didn’t. Now we have the residue of our wisdom or luck or mistakes to live with for the rest of our lives. And most of those life steps are now just a memory.

One regret is that my bank account of friends isn’t the greatest. A reluctance to make an effort back then has left me lacking in that area. Yet what I do have in the vault is now priceless. One of my aspirations is to mine those rich veins of past friendships to see if I might unearth more nuggets there. Occasionally I’ll strike gold and rekindle a long lost almost forgotten friendship from the dusty archives of my past. It’s a blast. And immensely satisfying.

Those random discoveries got me thinking about other friendships; past and future, strong and vapid, present and omnipresent. I thought about the friends I’ve had over the years. Some of them shared isolated points in my life; high school, college and work. Some were but fleeting incisions in the tenderness of my youth. Others were shared experiences like the military: isolated, vacuous, and destined to crash with each discharge celebration where inane behavior in the barracks seemed to make perfect sense back then.

The cliché that you can never have too many friends dissolves over the pages of Facebook where collecting friends can be a cyber-game for some folks, devoid of meaningful contact and concern. Having friends on Facebook isn’t the same as having real friends who care and share and actually want to be somebody in your life. Big difference there!

I am in a good place in my life now. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore! As an artist, I love creating stories in many different genres and I intend to continue writing until my pen dries up or I go blind. I’d like to take folks along this discovery of self and life and whatever else comes my way just as it began during those five years in the wilderness.