Ethel
said it best in my play ‘The Last Sentinel.’ She and a group of women are
talking about the aging process. There are aging bodies, sore muscles and
lapsed memories but the worst, Ethel declares, is ‘growing old between the
ears.’
I
wrote that play several years ago and I’m three plays past it now. But my
observations remain as keen today as they were back then. When I listen to some
of my old classmates, past acquaintances and a few neighbors I realize that we
collectively live in two very different worlds. They seem to have clung to
their old surroundings like some sort of security blanket. New, different, changed,
and improved are foreign ideas and threatening concepts to them.
Ethel
was talking about old people in a nursing home but the same philosophy holds
true for other generations as well.
Simply
by chance and without even trying, I’ve come across a number of older gentlemen
who have decided that they are going to clear-cut their own pathway to the future
and it doesn’t include following their doctor’s advice. For whatever reason,
they’ve decided to show their independence and stubbornness against medical
facts. My observation is that this trail blazing into medical fields unknown
doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But they seem intent on forging their own way
into their physical future. I’ve been there on the sidelines before watching
relatives go through the same self-directed dance with the devil. The outcome
isn’t always very pleasant.
Aging
seems to hit men particularly hard. Perhaps it was the machismo culture many of
us were exposed to growing up. Sports in school, the military, too many John
Wayne movies, Playboy magazine and other cultural phenomena that all conspired
to paint a picture of muscle and brawn, girls and gold, sex and satisfaction;
all without the harsh reality of the real world hovering in the background.
Women
seem much better equipped to cope with the aging process. They have friends and
clubs and social engagements that lesson or share the burden of getting old.
According
to aging expert Helen Kivnick, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of
Minnesota, the experience of later life is determined partly by biology, partly
by history and partly by society and culture. Baby boomers are constantly
bombarded by anti-aging propaganda. From wrinkle creams to collagen injections
to cosmetic surgery, we are encouraged, cajoled and intimidated into believing
that with the right attitude and pocket book we can live forever or at the very
least look like we are going to live forever. Those afro-mentioned old men seem
to believe that their stubborn attitude will carry them through – to what – I
don’t know.
In
truth, the worst part of getting older appears to be ageism – the intolerant
attitudes of some younger people toward seniors. So how to beat it? I think the
only answer lies between your ears. It’s your attitude and aptitude to take on
new challenges, create new pathways into areas you find interesting and finally
it’s listening to your doctor when he tells you to act your age but have fun in
the process.
The best old age elixir is to keep moving in whatever direction suits you as long as it contributes to your physical and mental health. It’s keeping friends and family close and negative folks far away. It’s celebrating life itself on a daily basis.
