Nurse with a Purse

As we age there are many myths and legends that follow us into that golden wheat field of lingering promises. What will our legacy be? What have we accomplished with our lives? How will we be remembered?

Then there are the subtle warning signs only meant for those of a certain age. I’d call those the follies of old age; gold digger verses nurse with a purse.

We used to laugh at the scenario of the old comfortable codger (of means) being seduced by some fair vixen who was only after his money. Apparently, it’s a real thing. I know several couples who live in retirement communities and the lure of ‘sugar daddies’ is no laughing matter. Some older men feel they must have their guard up when courting the fairer sex for that very reason, overly aggressive lionesses’ intent on sharing their bounty of success.

Of course, on the other hand, women have their own warning signs to watch out for. Older single women can be concerned about older gentlemen looking for a ‘nurse with a purse.’ These are senior men who want to attach themselves to a woman who has the time and financial resources to care for them as they age. Makes for some interesting conversations when love slips into the equation.

The accompanying infirmities of old age are often the elephant in the room when it comes to senior relationships. We know we’re all going to age and with it will probably come health-related challenges. Ignoring or denying it has its own set of consequences. So, what to do when one of you has to face that challenge?

For those with a committed spouse, partner, close friend or relative, it can change the equation of ‘what used to be’ totally around. I experienced that new reality recently when my wife had several medical emergencies this summer. Suddenly, I became her nurse. It was our purse and besides, it was part of the package, no questions asked.

Once back home, a whole new lifestyle began for both of us. She was now the patient and I the care giver. For a control enthusiast like my wife, it was very hard to give up control of most things. In addition, she was experiencing pain from the arthritis in her back and lower limbs and continuing pain from the wounds on her legs (a long lingering issues).

Fortunately, I’ve been healthy all my life and haven’t experienced a lot of pain. The worst I can remember is (mentally dying) sixteen miles into my last marathon and then continuing on walking and shuffling for another ten miles to complete the race. Every muscle and bone in my body was crying out for me to stop but the thought of quitting wouldn’t let me.

This lack of pain experience on my part makes it hard to put myself in her situation. Patience and understanding become paramount here while I help her navigate even some of the simplest tasks.

Two thoughts here. Time changes all things. Health is wealth. I see all of this as part of the package I agreed to some fifty-three years ago. I’ll be around as long as she needs me to be. While her healthy assets are low now, we’ll work together to get her back on track. It’s what you do when you need to step up to the plate. You know; nurse and patience and whatever it takes.

Having a purse doesn’t hurt either; blessed we are.