Elephant and the Owl

The phrase: ‘I have seen the elephant; I have heard the owl’ is an American colloquial phrase that refers to gaining experience of the world at a significant cost. It was a popular expression in the mid-to-late 19^th century throughout the United States beginning with the Mexican-American war and beyond.

Today, it could be tailored to any number of challenging and stressful events in one’s life. Turns out, it’s one of those clichés that enters our lives at a young age and somehow stays relevant throughout. Nurses have many phrases for patients to encourage them to continue moving after surgery or during a hospital stay. “Motion is lotion” both OT and PT love to say to their patients. Another is: “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” Funny how clichés can carry so much truth to them.

Back in the day, pioneers would speak about ‘seeing the elephant’ in their journeys west. James Michener in his novel ‘Centennial’ made it a key point in the life of one of his characters. For that young adventurer, it was an experience that left him shaken to the core and uncertain about his future.

Over the years, the phrase has become immersed in western novels, war stories and more poignant story-telling such as Margaret Craven’s wonderful novel ‘I Heard the Owl Call My Name.’ It’s been referenced in many bible stories highlighting those watershed moments and end of life experiences some biblical characters have faced. It’s probably entered our own lives whether we’ve been aware of it or not.

It’s been argued that you don’t really know who you are until faced with a catastrophe or a near-death experience. Some will say that our best life experiences come through affliction and challenges we never expected to encounter. It might be an athletic event that stretches your abilities to their absolute maximum. It could be a personal struggle with health issues, personal or social relationships or any number of personal challenges.

I’m having that experience now as a caregiver to my wife as she recovers from a lengthy hospital stay and time spent at a transitional care facility. “You’ve got to take care of yourself” well-meaning folks have been telling me. Truer words were never spoken.

Earlier in life, I’ve also found that phrase to be meaningful and fulfilling. It touched me through different ventures from acting to writing to running my own business and managing various real estate ventures.

For many people the very act of planting one’s feet on a theatrical stage could be akin to ‘seeing the elephant.’ My first experience with Community Theater started back in Tennessee in 1972. I had left public television in Minnesota to spread my wings in the Deep South. The Chattanooga Little Theater became my refuge. I crewed on the first play of the season and then acted in three more.

I think a lot of my fellow actors found their true selves on that stage. Much like politicians whose only claim to fame is their small-town title, these folks truly embraced their new pretend persona. It made them feel accomplished and whole and fulfilled. I never reached that level of self-satisfaction. I was always more interested in the story-telling aspect of the theater and not the acting part of it.

Creating plays has always been an important part of my writing arsenal. RAAC, the Rosemount Area Arts Council, in Minnesota and Script2Stage in California have both provided wonderful venues for me to showcase some of my plays. Both venues provide plenty of opportunities to face tough obstacles and stress in the quest for an engaging story to tell.

The Palm Springs Writers Guild has, for years, been guiding, encouraging and educating hopeful authors in the craft of writing and publishing their own works of art. One could easily equate this group of vernacular warriors with those ancients seeing the Elephant and listening for the Owl. Each and everyone of them on their own personal quest to face their fears and solidify their future.

Whether its acting, writing, or pushing one’s body to the limit, the quest for more is always there. Seeing the elephant and hearing the owl an integral part of the life experience.

Telling Stories My Way

Storytelling has many legs; each of which are meant to carry an audience to some conclusion. The trick for the storyteller is to unravel his/her story in a manner true to himself. Too often, writing magazines and how-to seminars advocate that the writer must slant his story to the needs of an audience. I think that’s the wrong approach. I think the writer has to be true to his own vision and tell the story ‘As he sees it.’

It’s a pattern and process that happened to me a (relatively) long time ago and has been true ever since. This first opportunity to tell a story in play form was initiated by the creation of a senior ensemble of theater folks in our community. RAAC (the Rosemount Area Arts Council) had just created a second theatrical group called Second Act Players. They were looking at material for their first production.

I thought I might write a play based on an idea that had crept into my brain a long time ago and lodged there. The storyline was simple enough. An aging old woman who never really gave up her old hippie lifestyle finds herself in an over-55 senior living facility. The storyline incorporated many elements I found interesting such as the old hippie movement, distain for ill-gotten authority, a push-back against old age, etc.

A simple synopsis of the play would read as follows: The quiet setting of this over-55 senior community is disrupted by an aging hippie named Sage. Since Sage arrived at the senior community strange things have started to happen. Sage’s nemesis is Margaret Maple; self-appointed rule-enforcer who is determined to get Sage kicked out of the complex.

Their conflict comes to a rollicking climax when the administration is supposed to kick Sage out but Sage has some shocking surprises which will blow people’s minds and destroy all of Margaret’s plans.

Encouraged by the success of ‘Riot’, I forged ahead with another idea of a class reunion. Room 210 was my own homeroom in high school. So, in this new play, room 210 is the home room where a small group of alumni gather during their 50-year high school reunion. Tension, anticipation and past animosities fill the room along with unrequited love and hope for the future. Each returning alumni has a different story to tell, some more revealing than others.

Batting a double run thus far, I chose to explore ‘end of life’ options facing four older women in their retirement years. The storyline is simple enough: Four women in a nursing home agree to support one another as the end of their lives gets closer. A mysterious woman (the Scooter Lady) offers them wisdom and advice for the hereafter.

Later on, I was fortunate enough to have two more plays produced in California. Reflecting the more liberal, sometimes avant-garde approach, to storytelling in the Golden State, I decided to tackle gay loneliness and a polyamorous relationship.

Polly’s Amorous Adventures is about a polyamorous relationship gone south. Polly is in a polyamorous relationship with two men but she is not able to address the issue of jealousy. Polly’s mother and girlfriend only add to Polly’s mounting frustration with this issue.

The story synopsis is, on the surface, simple enough. Two older single gay men find themselves alone and in need of companionship. One has a younger boyfriend who is using him. An older woman tries to help the men explore the simple joy of friendship. Nominated for six awards from the Desert Theater League. Won ‘best award’ for theatrical production.

These past plays plus a plethora of new ones prompted me to create a new Sell Sheet for all of my available plays. In the meantime, I’ve added another element to the theatrical equation; song-writing. PTV is my first play to include nine original songs written in collaboration with a very talented singer/songwriter here in Minnesota. I hope ‘By the Salton Sea’ will be my second one.

Storytelling is a personal journey inside one’s head. It’s a vision, often times, augmented, enhanced, stilted and clipped short by the author’s own psychic. But it is his/her story to tell. One can only hope that it is a message/tale that resonates with the audience. But, as long as it rings true to the author, it’s a story worth sharing.

I Have Seen the Elephant

The phrase: ‘I have seen the elephant; I have heard the owl’ is an American colloquial phrase that refers to gaining experience of the world at a significant cost. It was a popular expression in the mid-to-late 19^th century throughout the United States beginning with the Mexican-American war and beyond.

Pioneers would speak about ‘seeing the elephant’ in their journeys west. James Michener in his novel ‘Centennial’ made it a key point in the life of one of his characters. For that young adventurer, it was an experience that left him shaken to the core and uncertain about his future.

Over the years, the phrase has become immersed in western novels, war stories and more poignant story-telling such as Margaret Craven’s wonderful novel ‘I Heard the Owl Call My Name.’ It’s been referenced in many bible stories highlighting those watershed moments and end of life experiences some biblical characters have faced.

It’s been argued that you don’t really know who you are until faced with a catastrophe or a near-death experience. Some will say that our best life experiences come through affliction and challenges we never expected to encounter. It might be an athletic event that stretches your abilities to their absolute maximum. It could be a personal struggle with health issues, personal or social relationships or any number of personal challenges.

Now to take that argument a step further I might also suggest that for many people the very act of planting one’s feet on a theatrical stage could be akin to ‘seeing the elephant.’ Over the years, there have been a number of octogenarians and their younger compatriots who agreed to do just that in several of my plays.

Creating plays has always been part of my writing arsenal. RAAC, the Rosemount Area Arts Council, in Minnesota and Script2Stage in California have both provided wonderful venues for me to showcase some of my plays. Actually, it started in the early Seventies in Tennessee.

My first experience with Community Theater started back in Tennessee in 1972. I had left public television in Minnesota to spread my wings in the Deep South. The Chattanooga Little Theater became my refuge. I crewed on the first play of the season and then acted in three more. Around the end of our fourth play, I was offered a new job in Maryland and my brief, ever exciting career as a thespian came to a sudden halt until years later.

I think a lot of my fellow actors found their true selves on stage. Much like politicians whose only claim to fame is their small town title, these folks truly embraced their new pretend persona. It made them feel accomplished and whole and fulfilled. I never reached that level of self-satisfaction. I was always more interested in the story-telling aspect of the theater and not the acting part of it.

Artists of another ilk have found refuge in an old building in downtown Palm Springs. The Palm Springs Art Center hosts a revolving gallery, art classes, etc. Some of those seniors may ‘see the elephant’ while others might ‘hear the owl.’ But either way, vision or not, it proves to be a great experience for them. They took a chance and risked the fear and trepidation for a chance to do something challenging, something exhilarating, something that many of their colleagues could only hope to accomplish.

The Palm Springs Writers Guild has, for years, been guiding, encouraging and educating hopeful authors in the craft of writing and publishing their own works of art. One could easily equate this group of vernacular warriors with those ancients seeking the Elephant and listening for the Owl. Each and everyone of them on their own personal quest to face their fears and solidify their future.

And always on the lookout for the elephant and the owl. In my case, it might be a skinny little hippo.

Turning Eighty

As the old saying goes: ‘With age, comes wisdom.’ I guess the word ‘recognition’ could just as easily be substituted in my case. If one can remain open to the world around them, there’s still a lot to be seen and heard; whether it’s accepted or not…is another blog entirely.

This generational differences between myself and the rest of the world didn’t raise its head and nudge my consciousness until I was recently interviewed by a reporter from our local newspaper, the Desert Sun. Brian, the newspaper’s Arts and Culture Reporter had contacted me to talk about my latest play ‘Widow’s Waltz.’

The theme of the play was such that he thought it sounded different from the usual fare produced in the Valley. Whether that was a fair comparison or not, we met at Koffi, another local caffeinated establishment and talked at length about the play, the venue (Script2Stage2Screen) that was producing it and play-righting opportunities in the Valley.

At the end of our lengthy conversation, I asked him about his impressions of today’s Palm Springs since he’d been a reporter here for more than fifteen years. When he began talking about the ‘creatives from the coast’, remanences of Old Hollywood still lingering in the shadows and the uniqueness’ of the place, I realized his take on Palm Springs (as it is today) was a different world than the one I existed in.

Of course, that shouldn’t have come as a total surprise. Brian was born in 1980, about the same time as my own two kids. When he spoke of ‘ancient times’ he was referring to the turbulent 60’s, the war in Vietnam and social and political upheavals run rampant in our otherwise staid and comfortable world.

OMG, I asked myself. Am I really that old? I guess the answer is yes if I’m willing to admit it. A lot of generations have started to come up through the ranks since I began my formal journey in the 1940s.

If Family history is any indication of generational acceptance then I might be in trouble. My Mother never did admit her age and perhaps that’s her flotsam I’ve inherited. My mother worked until late into her sixties, remarried after being single for thirty plus years and never looked back.

She and her husband danced two or three times a week until their late seventies then continued playing cards well into their late eighties.

She was quite verbal in her distain for those old people who complained a lot or wouldn’t get off their duff and ‘do something’ besides watch TV and go to church on Sunday. While on the surface that seems understandable, my mother also insulated herself from world events, local politics, and generational changes with the younger set.

Hers was an insulated, encapsulated walled-off world of her own where only the like-minded dare to tread. Unfortunately, that brought her unwanted stress and discomfort as the world changed and evolved around her sheltered life. I don’t want to repeat that same performance.

I realize that to fully live in this world, one must be prepared to learn and understand the newer generations that are (for the most part) ruling it today. Most of our lives are now in the past and the future is rapidly closing in. To appreciate what we have, we have to embrace what’s there… whether we understand it or not.

Poly as a Play

After meeting my girlfriend from high school (long story) she commented that we had history. ‘Good history,’ she said and she had fond memories of that period in our lives. My second girlfriend from college said that if we couldn’t be friends on Facebook we could be ‘friends in spirit.’ Those were simple one-on-one romantic relationships that ended normally. Then a third special woman came along and that relationship has lasted for more than forty-six years.

Normal relationships, yes. Typical, yes - but not for everyone.

In this modern day world of dating, match-ups, hook-ups, swinging, swapping, switching, one-nighters and a dozen or more complicated variations of romantic liaisons, it turns out that not one type of relationship suits all. In fact, there are probably as many different intimate, sexual, personal relationships as can meet the imagination. One of the most prominent of which is called a polyamorous relationship.

A friend who knew I was a playwright brought this to my attention. Never one to say no to a good story idea I looked it up on Google. It opened up a whole new world of alternate lifestyles…to study, that is... just to study. And the more I did, the more I thought my friend was on to something. There had to be a good storyline someplace under the bedsheets here.

A polyamorous relationship is defined as a romantic relationship with more than one person. What distinguishes it from a classic love triangle is that all the partners know about each other and are accepting of those other relationships. It can pertain to men or women or a combination of both.

One form is called polyfidelity which means there is a committed relationship between the people and they are sexually faithful to one another. There can be three or more people in such a relationship.

My curiosity was aroused (sorry for the pun) even further when another friend who works at a medical clinic casually told me about her encounters with swingers. It seems there is a group of swingers who go to her clinic once a month for blood tests to make sure they haven’t contacted any STDs. They meet monthly at a local restaurant to check out new couples and arrange encounters.

My friend was impressed by the casual nature as well as honest and open approach this woman took when describing how her group went about exchanging wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and new arrivals. Who knew such exchanges were taking place in my own community? So how to write a play around such a subject matter without showing it disrespect and yet portraying it as an everyday occurrence, which it is…for some people.

Fortunately over the last two summers, I’ve had two of my plays produced here in Minnesota. The Second Act Players, a part of RAAC, the Rosemount Area Arts Council, produced ‘Riot at Sage Corner’ and ‘Club 210.’

Both plays gave me a great opportunity to watch my scripts being acted out by talented cast members. I was also able to sit among the audiences and watch their reactions. There were parts of the script that shined and other parts that could have used more refinement. But most importantly, it gave me as a playwright an entirely new perspective from the audience’s point of view.

This last season I was fortunate enough to stage-manage two plays at a local venue. This venue (Script2Stage2Screen) is located in Rancho Mirage at the Unitarian Church. Each season they present six staged-readings from original works. Stage managing gave me an opportunity to study both plays in greater detail. The two plays, ‘Pass-Over’ and ‘Mitigating Damages,’ were imaginative, thoughtful performances.

To better understand all the variations and emotional dynamics of a polyamorous relationship, I had to do research. But it would have to be the kind that wouldn’t get me into trouble with my spouse. She’s an understanding sort when I do research but she has her boundaries. So I started with Google.

According to a study published in the ‘Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy’ in 2016, 21 percent of people have had a non-monogamous relationship – one in which ‘all partners agree that each other may have romantic and/or sexual relationships with other partners.’

The notion of multiple-partner relationships is as old as the human race itself. But polyamorists trace the foundation of their movement to the utopian Oneida Christian commune of upstate New York, founded in 1848 by Yale theologian John Humphrey Noyes. But it wasn’t until the late-1960s and 1970s ‘free love’ movement that polyamory truly came into vogue when books like ‘Open Marriage’ topped the best seller lists and groups like the North American Swingers Club began experimenting with the concept.

It’s hard for many people to think outside of the fairy-tale notion of ‘the one’ and imagine that it might be possible to actually romantically love more than one person simultaneously. Jealousy is the main culprit and it’s an issue that polyamorists deal with constantly.

Once I discovered this Achilles heel of jealousy I had my theme and the main point of conflict and contention in my storyline. Yeah, it sounded like the groundwork for a new play.

So that’s what I did. I wrote ‘Poly’s Amorous Adventures.’

My play about a polyamorous relationship was going to be a challenge even though I had a good idea of how the storyline (Polly’s dilemma) was going to unfold right from the start. I wanted to grab the audience’s attention, hold on tight and not let it go. But I also wanted to make my characters real, sympathetic in their relationship challenges and honest in their pursuit of this triangle affair.

My main protagonist, Polly, is in a polyamorous relationship or so she thinks she is. The two men involved aren’t so sure and Polly’s girlfriend, Hazel, is certain that she isn’t. Polly’s mother is a toss-up. She could go either way but wants in on the action anyway.

In ‘Poly’s Amorous Adventures’ I’ve tried to be true to the intent of a polyamorous relationship but to also analyze the complexities of multiple relationships where emotions, raw feelings, confusion and jealousy are all a part of the equation. Then to stir up the pot a little more, I’ve added a handyman who is more than that, a girlfriend who can swing both ways, an on-line sex councilor who just can’t stay in her PC and an unconventional shopping list for insane pleasure.

The play was a joy to write. I fell in love with my characters, was surprised by their reactions to events and rational for their relationships. ‘Poly’s Amorous Adventures’ turned out to be a rollicking, twisted, sometimes torturous pathway through human emotions and ever-elusive true love.

It’s hard enough being in a one-on-one relationship with another person whether it’s a past girlfriend from high school or college or that someone special that you’ve been with forever. Relationships are challenging enough without love and romance blushing up the waters with their complex currents of swirling emotions. Now add to that one-on-one slow dance with yet another person or two and it’s bound to get just a little bit crazy.

And a lot of fun to write about too.