Elephant and the Owl

The phrase: ‘I have seen the elephant; I have heard the owl’ is an American colloquial phrase that refers to gaining experience of the world at a significant cost. It was a popular expression in the mid-to-late 19^th century throughout the United States beginning with the Mexican-American war and beyond.

Today, it could be tailored to any number of challenging and stressful events in one’s life. Turns out, it’s one of those clichés that enters our lives at a young age and somehow stays relevant throughout. Nurses have many phrases for patients to encourage them to continue moving after surgery or during a hospital stay. “Motion is lotion” both OT and PT love to say to their patients. Another is: “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” Funny how clichés can carry so much truth to them.

Back in the day, pioneers would speak about ‘seeing the elephant’ in their journeys west. James Michener in his novel ‘Centennial’ made it a key point in the life of one of his characters. For that young adventurer, it was an experience that left him shaken to the core and uncertain about his future.

Over the years, the phrase has become immersed in western novels, war stories and more poignant story-telling such as Margaret Craven’s wonderful novel ‘I Heard the Owl Call My Name.’ It’s been referenced in many bible stories highlighting those watershed moments and end of life experiences some biblical characters have faced. It’s probably entered our own lives whether we’ve been aware of it or not.

It’s been argued that you don’t really know who you are until faced with a catastrophe or a near-death experience. Some will say that our best life experiences come through affliction and challenges we never expected to encounter. It might be an athletic event that stretches your abilities to their absolute maximum. It could be a personal struggle with health issues, personal or social relationships or any number of personal challenges.

I’m having that experience now as a caregiver to my wife as she recovers from a lengthy hospital stay and time spent at a transitional care facility. “You’ve got to take care of yourself” well-meaning folks have been telling me. Truer words were never spoken.

Earlier in life, I’ve also found that phrase to be meaningful and fulfilling. It touched me through different ventures from acting to writing to running my own business and managing various real estate ventures.

For many people the very act of planting one’s feet on a theatrical stage could be akin to ‘seeing the elephant.’ My first experience with Community Theater started back in Tennessee in 1972. I had left public television in Minnesota to spread my wings in the Deep South. The Chattanooga Little Theater became my refuge. I crewed on the first play of the season and then acted in three more.

I think a lot of my fellow actors found their true selves on that stage. Much like politicians whose only claim to fame is their small-town title, these folks truly embraced their new pretend persona. It made them feel accomplished and whole and fulfilled. I never reached that level of self-satisfaction. I was always more interested in the story-telling aspect of the theater and not the acting part of it.

Creating plays has always been an important part of my writing arsenal. RAAC, the Rosemount Area Arts Council, in Minnesota and Script2Stage in California have both provided wonderful venues for me to showcase some of my plays. Both venues provide plenty of opportunities to face tough obstacles and stress in the quest for an engaging story to tell.

The Palm Springs Writers Guild has, for years, been guiding, encouraging and educating hopeful authors in the craft of writing and publishing their own works of art. One could easily equate this group of vernacular warriors with those ancients seeing the Elephant and listening for the Owl. Each and everyone of them on their own personal quest to face their fears and solidify their future.

Whether its acting, writing, or pushing one’s body to the limit, the quest for more is always there. Seeing the elephant and hearing the owl an integral part of the life experience.

What Drives Ambition?

My son asked me ‘the question’ about ten years ago and I had no definitive answer for him. Turns out, I’m no further ahead with the answer now than I was back then. As involved, invested and caring parents, both Brian and Melanie want their children to succeed. Hence, the question from Brian: “Dad, how do you teach someone ambition?” caught me off guard and churned up a lot of pondering on my part.

The good news is that I ‘ve had ten years to wrestle with that ‘question for the ages.’ Over that time, there have been a number of clues that do bring a little more clarity to the issue. Of course, I have my own theories. They’re pretty deeply entrenched ideas of how and why some folks become motivated and others spend most of their lives just floating along. So, where does motivation come from? Anyplace and everyplace is one simple answer that holds a lot of truth to it.

This whole concept of ambition and motivation is a bit of an obsession with me. I wasn’t cognizant of that fact until I got into writing on a full time basis. The theme of ‘being hungry’ has permeated a lot of my writing. The desire for more, for something else, something better has crept into several of my books; especially “Love in the A Shau” and “The Debris Trilogy.” Both novels feature hungry young men determined to make a success of themselves. It’s a theme I can personally relate to and a vision quest I don’t ever see ever ending.

Let’s face it. We’re only here on earth for a brief period of time. Why wouldn’t we want to make the very most out of every minute of our existence? Why wouldn’t we want to do something with our lives that was worthwhile, satisfying and hopefully of benefit to others? And more importantly, why wouldn’t we want the same for our own children and grandchildren?

Sports is one area where a lot of kids, my grandkids included, learn about the basics of life; what’s fair and not fair. How hard work can ‘sometimes’ pay off and other times not help the final cause. But it does reaffirm the benefit of hard work and the desire to succeed.

Over the last ten years, each of my grandchildren have also found areas of interest outside of the sporting arena. Each of these ancillary ventures was initiated by the kids themselves. Whether it be band, NHS, Deca, Speech, Languages, Theater, Music, etc. Fortunately, these extracurricular activities were self-directed and discovered sans parents or grandparents prodding. The universal lesson learned here was simple enough: Anything worth doing is going to require some kind of sacrifice.

Nothing comes easy…at least for most of us. When you’re born at the bottom then anything above that looks pretty good. When you have nothing growing up then you don’t long for those vapid pleasures that don’t amount to a hill of beans in the overall scheme of living. Growing up with the basics gives one a real appreciation for the simpler things of life.

That doesn’t mean you don’t want more. It simply means you appreciate the basic values of your own existence and can realistically grasp the intrinsic appeal of other things beyond your reach. There is value in being raised with a focus on the fundamentals of living and a scarcity of those extraneous distractions of wealth.

It’s not always easy being born rich. The three generation theory has been around for a long time. Among other monikers, it’s been called shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.

Based on fact and some fiction, the theory simply asserts that most businesses don’t survive beyond the third generation of owners. Grandpa starts the business. His son takes over and continues for a time. But by the time a third generation is ready to step up to the plate, the discipline and hunger for success have been muted and gutted for all intents and purposes.

And it’s hardly unique to this country. In China, it’s called rice paddy to rice paddy. In Italy, it’s called cobbler to cobbler. In Ireland, it’s called clogs to clogs.

Being born poor and hungry can be a strong motivator for the taste of success. But what if your kids aren’t growing up poor like you were? What if they’ve had a lot of advantages simply because that’s what their parents (your own kids) want them to have? Do we deny them opportunities to travel, read a lot, go to a good school or have other life experiences we could never dream of when we were growing up? I think not.

Inherent in my personality is a deep-seated prejudice about giving kids ‘everything’ simply because their parents can afford it. I think there are distinct disadvantages of being raised a rich environment. And we all know who ‘they’ are. Back in high school, they were all gathered around the ‘most popular’ table in the cafeteria. Their descendants are still there today.

So, where’s the balance between giving your kids or grandkids every opportunity you can to enrich their lives and still raise them as responsible, respectable and appreciative citizens of the world?

I certainly don’t have all the answers as to how to motivate young people nowadays especially my own grandchildren. The best advice I could probably give my own kids is to lead by example. To reward their own children’s efforts and not necessarily their success. And to remind their kids that practice makes for opportunities.

I didn’t become a writer in my later years because I wanted to…or had nothing else to do. Writing is my favored/flavored addiction just as running was for forty-seven of my more energetic years. What I try to explain to well-meaning folks who ask ‘why do it?’ is that I have no choice. It isn’t something that I can play with occasionally when the mood strikes. It is, at its deepest level, something that I have to do.

The writer in me has to get involved in my character’s lives. I have to travel back out west occasionally and I have to muddle around the under-belly of Palm Springs when the time comes. I have to do what I do because I was born hungry and still am today. I hope to stay hungry for the rest of my life.

In past blogs I’ve commented that I want my grandchildren to ‘be hungry.’ Thus far, I think they’re developing a pretty healthy appetite for more. Hopefully, at some point in their young lives, they’ll come to understand that old adage as I did a long time ago. The harder they work, the luckier they might become.

Longevity

In addition to adventure tourism, one of the newest shade covers offered to an anxious public are longevity tours. It’s a mixture of ‘out of your comfort zone’ tourism with a hint of healthy living tips incorporated into the whole expensive package.

It’s one of the newest industries to raise its capitalistic head in the never-ending search for eternal life. That is, the illusion that they (whoever is advertising at the moment) have finally found Valhalla (Viking heaven), the Fountain of Youth (sorry, Ponce De Leon) and/or some magic elixir that assures each of us that ‘we really can get out of this place alive!’

From a daily dose (on BusinessInsider.com) of some middle-aged male hawking longevity caplets to snippets on my Facebook feed, I’m inundated on almost a daily basis with folks who have found the secret to life everlasting. And for only a small amount of money, they’ve got a pill, liquid, AI app, workshop or class that can help you reach that goal too.

It’s an industry that feeds upon itself and never goes out of fashion. News outlets love ‘this stuff’ because it grabs eyeballs minus the gray matter that ought to accompany it. Like the new weight-loss drugs that promise weight loss without the bother of diet and exercise, these old-fashion magic elixirs promise results without any effort. All you need is lots of money and leave your brains at the door.

Dr. Eric Topol, in his heavily-researched book ‘Super Agers’ encapsulates the newest Oklahoma Land Rush of Longevity. In it, he writes:

“There are eight hundred longevity clinics in the United States – even at the prestigious Mayo Clinic. Some charge up to $50,000 per week. There are longevity vacations with intravenous drips; “Rejuvenation Olympics”, a Fountain Life “country club for precision diagnostics”, fitness centers with intravenous antiaging drips; an X-Prize awarding over $100 million to restore at least a decade’s worth of muscle, brain and immune function in older adults; and stem cell clinics for longevity.”

“Then there are the many hundreds of companies developing drugs or interventions to promote lifespan or selling biomarkers to track one’s biological age….. Dr. Topol continues: “I am reminded of a line by Venki Ramakrishnan in ‘Why We Die’: “When they were young, they wanted to be rich, and now that they’re rich, they want to be young.”

There is one point where I do agree with these charlatans of eternal life; that is, health is wealth. An interesting thing happened on my well-traveled road to maturity. My assets, long assumed to be material things and a bank account, morphed into something far more valuable and priceless. Health became paramount and without it everything else pales in comparison.

At any age, all the money in the world doesn’t mean a damn thing if you don’t have your health. And as wealthy as these often-scorned billionaires might be, few of them, if any, can buy their way back to health once it’s gone. Even they aren’t going to ’get out of here alive.’

In retrospect, I’ve been very lucky. I think I’m in fairly good shape simply because I started running early on and never stopped until I was well past 70. After one memorable weekend in the service, I stopped drinking all hard liquor and haven’t had another drop for 67 years. I’ve never smoked (okay, a couple of joints doesn’t count during my wannabe hippie years), and I’ve maintained my weight pretty well. I thought about this phenomenon after finding that more and more of our friends and acquaintances are experiencing health issues at this stage in their lives.

‘Late in life’ issues often prompt a reflective glimpse back in time. The famous Irish poet Oscar Wilde once said, “The final mystery is oneself.” So how does one unravel the mystery of self? It probably can’t happen without self-awareness and self-awareness won’t happen without reflection.

I’m at that point in life where things are starting to happen beyond my control. This old body has been pumping and expanding for seventy-six years. Fortunately, its wear and tear has been relatively minimum. For others an excess of ‘living the good life’ is finally starting to show its consequences. For others, it’s the luck of the draw or the flip side of that event. I mentioned that idea in another blog entitled ‘The Final Tabulation.’

Reflecting back on circumstances or events in one’s life can bring about new insights into your present circumstances. I think reflection is looking inward so one can look back with a broader, more accurate perspective of your current situation in life. Health more than most other events can bring that to the forefront.

As the cliché goes, it’s never too late to begin again. When my mother and stepfather couldn’t dance anymore at ages ninety and eight-two respectively, they took up cards to strengthen their minds. I didn’t recognize it back then but their actions were a powerful motivator for me to keep pressing on.

Assessing what’s really important at this stage of one’s life comes down to the basics. Health, family, friendships and life experiences. All the rest is soon to be outdated, worn out or replaced by this season’s new trend. Stick with the basics and, oh yeah, take time to smell the roses along the way.