I’ve often rambled on about the ‘old men in the coffee shop.’ Unfortunately,
or not, I have categorized them as a group of individuals who seldom listen,
often interrupt and usually talk about their world in disparaging ways. This is
not my kind of salon in any sense of the word. But if they’re happy with their
verbal pursuits, all the more power to them.
These informal gathering spots are usually organic in nature. The shop
opens, customers discover its relaxed atmosphere and friends are made and
reinforced each week. It might be at a coffee shop, a bookstore, the Guitar Center,
a nearby gym, or other gathering spots for like-minded individuals. Turns out,
those old men at the coffee shop may be really into something. Their gathering
around the coffee urn is a rather microscopic way of talking about social
infrastructures.
A book called ‘Palaces for the People’ defines social Infrastructure’
as any place where civic engagement and social interaction take place. This
includes public institutions like libraries, schools, playgrounds, parks and
athletic fields. On a more personal level it could include coffee shops, street
corners, courtyards, community gardens, and other green spaces.
Liquid refreshments are often at the core of other countries ‘third places
and social infrastructure. The Germans have their beer halls. The French have
their cafes. The Japanese have their izakaya’s and karaoke bars. Robust social
infrastructure doesn’t just encourage social exchange, it can contribute to
economic growth.
New York City has its High Line in lower Manhattan. The Beltline in
Atlanta, Georgia is developing slowly but will ultimately repurpose a
twenty-two-mile rail corridor circling the city into thirty-three miles of
trails, as well as a string of parks, public artworks, and affordable housing
projects.
Back in the 50s and 60s, the Twin Cities had its own version of social
infrastructure around the University of Minnesota. Dinkytown and the West Bank
were havens for the disenfranchised, disconnected and slumming students looking
for a taste of ‘real life.’
Gathering spots around Dinkytown like the Ten O’Clock Scholar, the
Purple Onion and The Extempore hosted a wide swath of students, Folkies and the
mildly curious. The West Bank took it down a notch with dive bars, rooming
houses and the holy grail of the bohemian mindset; the Triangle Bar.
My perch from which to explore this flip side of young adulthood was a
rundown tired mansion on University Avenue. It had long since been turned into
a rooming house / apartment building with dwelling units (if you could call
them that) carved out of once posh showcase housing.
My
history at the Triangle Bar was documented in one of my first novels ‘Love in
the A Shau.’ The activities, discussions, schooner beer ventures and tokin' among friends all took place there for my protagonist Daniel and myself.
I was going through my ‘wanna be a hippie’
stage at that point in my life. Working two jobs, I found in the Triangle Bar,
Art Theaters and writing poetry at night, a respite from the confusion still
plaguing my wondering / wandering mindset. At this stage in my life, I no long
have the Triangle Bar but I’ve got something just as good and more age-appropriate.
My ‘third place’ has morphed into what I call my coffee and chat sessions.
The ‘third place’ is a setting beyond home and work; a place where
people relax in good company and do so on a regular basis. Its origination is
usually organic in nature, impromptu and unplanned. Folks start to talk to one
another; thoughts and ideas are exchanged and those conversations morph into a
pleasant experience for all the participants.
Now I’ve moved beyond that to my own third place and I’m loving it. My third place began at Dunn Brothers but has
now moved to my back porch, park settings, lake fronts, park shelters, etc. COVID-19
was the catalyst for this change. When meeting indoors was risky, I decided to
test the outdoors instead. I’ve never looked back.
My Coffee and Chat sessions have grown over the last couple of years
into something very special for me and my participants. My age group,
especially among men, often times have limited resources for the kind of
cerebral salon I find so inviting. There are just some subjects that men are
more comfortable discussing among their peers even more so than with family and
casual friends. The conversations can be deep, shallow, personal, impersonal,
irrelevant, stupid, silly, crude, gross and ‘you were talking about what?.....
but always engaging. And that’s the whole idea, an environment where folks can
talk to intimates and never have to apologize for the subject matter.
Different
folks, different backgrounds, different perspectives. We’ve managed to avoid
talking about politics unless our views are in close alignment. Even then I’d
rather talk about something fun, enjoyable, stimulating, thought-provoking or
satisfying.
My
friend, Bob, in California, loves to talk about his current writing projects
and me about mine. We’ve found that our sharing critiques are really helpful in
bringing a fresh perspective to any current project of ours. My friends back
home bring a plethora of similar life experiences to our vernacular mix.
It
may have taken me a lifetime to find pleasure and great value in cerebral
discourse and exchange but I’ve got it now…and it’s a hoot.
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