I had an interesting conversation with Rosie who is
the manager of our fitness club here in town.
She commented that this has been an unusually busy
season for her members to have surprise visitors coming in from cold weather
parts of the country. Not surprisingly, these new-found friends are quite
interested in partaking of our unseasonably warm weather during the heart of
winter elsewhere.
One member even commented: “I just heard from my
brother whom I haven’t spoken to in years. He wants to visit with his new bride
and I haven’t even met her yet. What am I going to do with them for a week in
my small two-bedroom condo?” She’s decided to spend appreciably more time at
the gym while her self-invited company lounges by her pool.
Living in a warm weather locale during the winter month’s
makes one an attractive target for visitors and occasional guests who love to
drop in and savor the warm weather, blue skies and gorgeous mountain views. The
same thing is happening to our friends who now live here year-round. They too
have seen a steady influx of guests from back home.
The common equation among some of these newly
implanted house guests is an attitude that your home has become their home away
from home – at least in their mind. They’ve drunk from the jug called “A Palm
Springs Lifestyle” and swallowed it entirely. It’s an interesting paradigm and
yet nothing could be further from reality.
What seems to be missing for some of these house
guests is the simple realization that it’s your ‘home’ they’re staying in. It’s
not a Motel Six down the road or some cute B&B they read about in Good
Housekeeping Magazine. Some of them don’t seem to understand that it’s not your
rental property or your vacation home or even second home. It’s your
home…period…and as such should be treated that way.
While all of us here are very fortunate to have a
place to stay during the winter months, most of us have worked darn hard to
earn the right to be here in the first place. It’s not something we take
lightly or for granted and as such we’re very protective of it.
House guests are a different breed aside from family
and sometimes family doesn’t get it either.
There’s an old cliché about fish and house guests
being tolerable for about three days and after that…
I’ve
stumbled upon a simple test that is a pretty good indicator of how our guests
are going to perceive their stay in town. It occurred over a couple of years
with three different couples.
After
picking up our guests at the airport, I drive to the exit gate to pay for
parking.
1. Without
saying a word, the first couple whipped out a ten dollar bill to pay for
parking.
2. Once
at the gate, the second couple spoke up in the back seat about offering to
pay for parking but went no further than that.
3. The
third couple just kept talking in the backseat and didn’t even notice that I
had paid for parking.
It
turned out to be the perfect metaphor for how these three couples saw their
week in Palm Springs as our guests. The first couple saw it as a wonderful
opportunity to enjoy all that Palm Springs had to offer and a willingness to
show their appreciation for opening up our home to them. They didn’t hesitate
to pay for their fair share of our expenses that week.
The
second couple appreciated their week in Palm Springs and wanted to reciprocate
by taking us to dinner a couple of times.
The
third couple enjoyed their week in Palm Springs.
One of the rituals among desert resort society is to
bring a gift when invited over to another person’s home for an event, dinner, a
party, etc. Often times, it’s a bottle of wine assuming your hosts drink vino.
It’s a time-honored way of acknowledging the invitation to engage with friends.
Much like the time-honored ritual of sending a thank you card for pleasantries
exchanged or gifts, etc. it’s something that comes quite naturally to some
people and not so much for others.
Some folks get it and others don’t. As a friend once
commented about frequent guests who like to partake of another’s hospitality on
numerous occasions but seldom reciprocate themselves. He said “A bottle of wine
just doesn’t cut it.”
Reciprocal action is required if any relationship is
going to last. Some people get it and some don’t.
So goes the game of life…and hospitality.
No comments:
Post a Comment