Failure
can wrap itself in a cloak of many colors. Unexpected job loss and
life-changing events can become pivotal points in one’s life. It’s that
water-shed moment where what was once present is now past and the future is
nothing more than a dim hope or vapid expectation on the horizon.
In
her new book entitled: ‘The Up Side of Down,’ author Megan McArdle says that:
“Getting to the upside of down often means letting go of your instincts,
ignoring conventional wisdom and leaping for something no one has done before.”
It’s changing course in mid-stream and forging ahead despite the uncertainty of
what might lie ahead.
Ed
Catmull was one of the founders of Pixar along with Steve Jobs and John
Lasseter. In his book ‘Creativity, Inc: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand
in the Way of True Inspiration’ Catmull says that the ultimate goal here is to
uncouple fear and failure. It’s changing that stigma that failure is bad and a
sign of weakness. We must recognize that mistakes aren’t necessary evil.
Instead, they are an inevitable consequence of doing something new. Echoing the
mantra of many forward-thinking ventures: “If you aren’t making mistakes, you
aren’t taking enough risks.”
I’ve been there several times in my life; three in particular stand out. Yet in each instance I never knew just how fortuitous my failure would turn out to be. I never anticipated to fail so there was never some grand plan to deal with my stumble. Instead, some innate survival instinct kicked in and pushed me forward. At the time, I didn’t see it as a failure as much as a minor distraction like a foot-stumble off the starting line.
My
first failure was running out of money at a private college and transferring to
the University of Minnesota. While a large University may work for a lot of
students, it was an unmitigated disaster for me. Beginning with 2500 students
in the Introduction to Psychology class to the smallest class of 300 in
Economics, I was lost before I stepped one foot on campus. I lasted two
quarters and was politely asked to ‘take a break’ by the Admissions Office.
Two
weeks after dropping out, I got my draft notice and spent the next two years in
this man’s army. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. It was
two years of learning to live on my own, continuing my focus on education,
writing, travel and the beginning of collecting a lifetime of writing material
(only I didn’t know it at the time).
My
second failure came in my boss’s office at precisely 8:34 a.m. on July 23rd,
1993…but who’s counting. It began with the usual pleasantries and then quickly
evolved into “…(bla-bla-bla)…so we’re going to have to let you go.” And with
that non-descriptive lame-ass explanation I was out of a job after thirteen
years in public television.
It
was the best thing that could have happened to me. In reality, it became a
clean break from a mundane and political jungle to a forced self-reliance on my
own skills to survive in the marketplace. It made me focus on my business,
Sharden Productions, and my real estate ventures. And again, I never looked
back.
My third and final failure came in the form of an obnoxious e-mail from an ego-inflated anal-retentive individual who didn’t like the video programs I was producing for local community television broadcast. His criticisms were ripe with subjective opinions and self-induced visions of grander. It was at that point that I declared to my computer that “I don’t need this _____ anymore” and with that eloquent announcement, I folded up my video production and distribution business and focused my fulltime energies on writing.
In
retrospect, each stumble, loss, rejection, distraction, and life-changing event
in my past has nudged me toward this stage of my life where story-telling in
multiple disciplines has become my new passion. Catmull reminds us that: ‘we
must think of the cost of failure as an investment in the future.’
Some
folks are much quicker at failing their way to success. It took me sixty plus
years and a life-time of learning just to get where I am now. I’d love to say
it’s all part of some grand plan but it’s not. Just one more attempt at doing
what I love best and stumbling every couple of steps on the way.
Each failure was a step in the right direction for me. I just didn’t know it at the time. Life stumbles can be that way sometimes.