I Was a Younger Man Then

When the sands of time begin to pile up in your driveway, it’s probably an opportune moment to reflect on the quantitative past you’ve been collecting over all these years. Maybe the fact that you’re still here and others from your past life aren’t, make it a good time to look in your rearview mirror and savor the fleeting images there.

Last summer, I discovered a ceramic running mug from my first marathon. It was buried deep on some dusty shelf in my office downstairs. It was from the 1982 Twin Cities Marathon. Back then, I had been running for about eighteen years, having started out an asphalt virgin at the ripe age of twenty-one. My PB (personal best) wasn’t that great but at least I was consistent, usually averaging five or six days a week of solid running. This would be my first marathon.

I remember, I began running with a group of loud, somewhat obnoxious, unruly veteran runners. Our first mile was clocked at a sub-six-minute mile and I knew immediately that if I didn’t slow down, I’d be dead (figurative speaking) by mile ten. I slowed down and actually got to mile twenty-four before everything in my body shut down and I died right there on the spot. Embarrassment kept me on my feet but I was done for the day.

Just then, a couple of young healthy women ran by me and their respective gait was something to behold. I began stumbling, running, keeping close in their wake. My eyes focused on their afterdeck until about a half mile from the finish line and then I imploded inside again. Fortunately, this time around, it was the sight of the Cathedral and a downhill sprint to the finish line that brought me home.

My time was a sub four-hour marathon and I’ve never been able to duplicate that again. I’ve notched two more marathons under my belt but survival was my main focus on those two. A sub-four marathon was once in a lifetime. That experience and others like it were memorable and never repeated in my younger years.

Education was a disjointed venture after high school. Rife with distractions and detours, it took me a while to finally finish that jaunt. The Army generously handed me two years going in another direction. Then it was back on campus to finish my degree, moving to Denmark as an ex-pat for a while. Finally returning to Minnesota and stumbling upon a lifetime career in television. Oh, I was a younger man then.

Now my books, plays, movies, blogs, children’s books, and more keep me working well into my senior years. I’m no longer a younger man physically but fortunately my mind hasn’t given up the ghost yet.

Writing has been a life-saver in terms of offering me almost daily cognitive twists, turns, and gyrations that elude a lot of older folks. Unbridled interest in a plethora of topics, sane and not so much, keep my curiosity probing outlets for topics of many different interests. Weekly discourse with friends, especially in Minnesota, has become a welcome opportunity to explore topics of every color, flavor, and subject matter.

Perhaps I’m not alone.

Last summer, I noticed that one of the recurring threads that wove through my C & C sessions was a sense of gratitude. My friends and I found a certain level of comfort in sharing the new, interesting, mundane, common and not so common. It was sharing at the most basic level and very gratifying, not the least of which was because none of us are younger men now.

The State of the Stage is

Theatrical performances (plays) have always been a part of our communal gathering traditions down through the ages. Even the caveman, without the benefit of a thrust stage and lighting, carried on that oral tradition. Shakespeare created his dramas for the common man. Cole Porter did his for those seeking distraction from the Great Depression.

Before radio and television, that was how we did our storytelling. Then, over time, technology advanced ever further and new means of storytelling grew in popularity. Now with podcasts, blogs, and YouTube videos, almost anyone can have a voice in the mixed-up world of storytelling.

These technological advances have all made inroads into the storytelling appeal of plays. Counter-balance that with a whole new generation of playwrights eager to pass on their own messages of current times and tribulations to audiences, and therein lies a volatile mix of depleted audiences, newfound message bearers, financial challenges and social thoughts screaming for attention.

Then out of the blue, Covid-19 showed us we could be alone and that was okay. Working from home was possible and for many, it became an attractive alternative to the corporate office/campus. Media devices at home provided a cheaper, more convenient means of seeing plays, movies, etc. It all came down to a matter of control. The more control passed on to the consumer, the more the consumer had multiple options to choose from. Theater became just one of dozens of entertainment options available to them at their fingertips.

Another factor in this seismic shift was initiated by the “Dear White American Theater” letter posted in June of 2020. It was signed by theater practitioners from across the country. In it were a list of demands around racial representation and combating racism within the theater and safety.

Adding to the challenges; theaters were faced with a growing body of creatives who wanted their voices added to the mix. LGBT, BIPOC, and trans groups began to demand recognition and a platform in which to share their hopes and concerns that up until then hadn’t been well represented in a theatrical environment.

‘Being more relevant for today’s audiences’ is now the mantra for many theatrical directors. They want to explore themes that until just recently would only play on off-Broadway and select venues. And while they try to carve out a demographic that would appreciate their offerings, other theaters know their demographics and play it safe. Whatever it takes to fill the seats, make payroll, and stay alive.

As a newly minted playwright, I’m feeling the pressure from all these changes taking place in the theater. While it’s always been difficult to find a venue for one’s play, it’s gotten experientially harder now. Quite honestly, most of the time, I feel that straight old white guys are definitely out favor/flavor today. It’s never stated outright, but the feelings persists that we are: ‘out of the loop,’ ‘aren’t hip,’ and ‘have nothing to say of relevance to a younger generation.’ I guess the truth lies in the eyes of the accuser.

I don’t think creativity has necessarily taken a hit but rather it’s been molded into many different forms when presented as theatrical material.  I have to remind myself that there are now, more than ever, social trends, cultural pressures, financial concerns, and competition from sources that weren’t around even a couple of years ago.

I do understand that it is very difficult for theaters to take a chance on new unproven playwrights and in some instances new concepts, ideas, and approaches to story-telling. It’s always much safer to go with the tried and true; the sure thing; the play with a proven track record or easily recognized by the theater going public (think Neal Simon, anyone).

‘So, is playing it safe the same as playing it smart?’ I guess it’s all in the eye of the producer.

Certainly, financial and sociological challenges exist. I would argue they’ve always been there. It’s unlikely you’ll ever get a group of creatives together and find agreement on many items or issues. That’s part of the creative process. My task is to find my own path through this ‘brave new world.’ A journey I relish and dread at the same time.

It all comes down to good storytelling and may the best story win.

Corcovado Adieu

It had to happen. A beautiful national park being dragged into the modern-day era of adventure tourism with a promise of fine wine at the end of each evening and brilliant sunsets at no extra cost. I really can’t complain. Costa Rica, like so many other Central American countries, is simply trying to cash in on the beauty of this treasured piece of God’s handiwork.

I was fortunate enough to have been there at the beginning. Back in the early eighties, the park had been carved out of thousands of acres of pristine jungle on the Osa Peninsula in south-western Costa Rica. National Geographic has called it “the most biologically intense place on Earth in terms of biodiversity.”

Adventure tourism has gotten in bed (literally and figuratively) with health and wellness eco-tourism to form a new brand of travel. Exotic locations are now the scenes of breathtaking views, fine accommodations, health and wellness curriculum; all in a jungle environment. It had to happen even to a true jungle wilderness.

Some describe this new kind of travel tourism as a kind of wellness utopia where thermal bathing blends in naturally with family-friendly water-based activities. Most of these new health resorts and lodgings feature both ancient and contemporary treatments – from acupuncture to IV vitamin cocktails along with a ready mix of well-being practitioners, fitness trainers, and health coaches, all promising personalized care for mind, body and spirit. From that perspective, Costa Rican planners got it right. The Corcovado landscape is gob-smack in the middle of paradise.

The landscape was always that way even back in my time. It just didn’t offer up high-count Egyptian sheets and fine wine at sunset. In fact, my first view of Corcovado National Park was the sight of a crashed aircraft at the end of our rough grassy runway. At that time, 1983, the only way in and out of the huge park was by flying in on small aircraft, four passengers each.

The park had just been created by the National Department of Tourism. That agency was anxious to get the word out on the wonders and beauty of the park. They focused on journalists from around the United States, especially those associated with local public television outlets. My boss was contacted by them and I was given that assignment; to tell the story of Corcovado National Park.

Gathering up at the airport in San Jose, I could see it was an odd collection of photographers, journalists, newspaper veterans and a few old well-seasoned salts thrown in for flavor and intrigue.

Our accommodations were primitive at best. We were each assigned tents and sleeping pads and mosquito netting if we were lucky. Sleeping in tents, no ground pads, took several days to adjust to the hard ground surface.

Every morning after breakfast, we hiked a different route through the jungle. The rules of jungle hiking are really quite simple. First, jungle terrain is seldom flat. That only happens in Tarzan movies. It’s usually hilly, rugged and laced with jungle vines that can send you sprawling down a slope in nothing flat. Caution was the word.

Our guide told us right up front there were a wide variety of ways to get killed in the jungle. In our case, that could have come in the form of six different varieties of poisonous snakes, anyone of which could have killed us with just one small nick of their fangs. Yet on we trudged through the nearly impenetrable jungle in search of some great cinematic shots, which unfortunately, we never got.

Secondly, we were told to watch out for spider monkeys. They love to pee on you as you pass underneath. Howler monkeys just yell a lot. Most frogs are poisonous so don’t touch.

The third rule is also pretty simple. Snakes will kill you if they can. Watch where you step or be prepared to die. Never step over a log or object on the ground. Never lean up against a tree. Always step on top of the log then step over to the other side. Look at the tree first before you lean against it or sit next to it.

There were many species of venomous snakes in the park. The Fer-de-Lance and Bushmaster were tops in their game. One bite…thirty minutes…hello, heaven. Even the poison dart frog could do you in.

I can still hear them, almost 40 years later, scrambling above us and howling at our presence down below. It’s like a musical refrain cemented in my brain; haunting yet so familiar. The jungle can do that to you. It can enlighten, threaten and even kill you in a heartbeat.

On the first day of a long hike, I casually asked our guide if he had snake bite serum with him after he described the numerous poison snakes that abounded in Corcovado. He said no, he’d left it back at base camp, a four-hour hike away. I guess when your time comes, it comes. We all walked a little more gingerly back to camp that day.

Foresight isn’t my forte. Yet, even as I was trudging through the jungle, I knew this was the chance of a lifetime. I tried to soak up as much of the atmosphere as I could. That included the stifling heat, humidity, insects, poisonous snakes, sharks in the rivers, strange sounds day and night, sleeping on rocks, listening to the barking of the Howler Monkeys, and drinking warm beer.

Those three weeks in Corcovado produced many wonderful experiences and great memories with some fascinating folks. I should be so lucky to hear those howling monkeys ever again.

Now, fast-forward forty plus years and Brian’s family just returned from a wonderful vacation trip to Costa Rica. While, they didn’t visit Corcovado they did get a true taste of a Costa Rican jungle and beach front fun.

As the saying goes, time changes all things. Even that impenetrable jungle finally fell to the joyful sounds of kids just having a good time. Not quite my experiences there but still a wonderful feeling for all. Corcovado has a brand-new audience to savor its charms and enjoy spectacular sunsets.

Sophia Gets It

Four-year-olds are a lot more intuitive, introspective, and understanding than most adults give them credit for. That includes a lot of well-meaning parents who don’t want to rush their toddlers into the ‘real world’ too soon. The fact is, children as young as three and four may not understand the emotions of anger, fear, pain, and loneliness but they do feel them nevertheless.

What parents might consider ‘adult emotions’ are felt just as strongly and deeply by toddlers as their older siblings. While they may not be able to verbalize those feelings, they are present and should be recognized for what they are; real emotions. Waleed, my skinny hippo, seems to have struck a chord of understanding with that age group. Now a four-year-old and a Ph.D. have lent validation to that fact.

This summer, I had the opportunity to talk to Dr. Sharon Bergan, professor of early childhood education at Dakota County Technical College. She had been introduced to my children’s series, ‘Waleed, the Skinny Hippo’, and loved the storylines in both books.

During our conversation, Dr. Bergen educated me on the subtle nuances that adults often misread or misunderstand about their children. It turns out that toddlers ‘get it’ a lot more often than we give them credit for. Kids are often a lot more insightful than they might seem on the surface.

I got validation of that theory first hand from a friend of mine. His first grandchild, Sophia, is a real fan of both my ‘Waleed’ children’s books. After her initial introduction to the skinny hippo, Waleed became the ‘go to’ book whenever Sophia came to visit grandma and grandpa.

This validation by Sophia was particularly gratifying because I had felt when I began writing the series that I wanted the little insecure hippo to tackle adult feelings and emotions that are usually not addressed in most children’s books.

That particular deep-seated prejudice on my part stemmed from the way I was treated as a child growing up. The adults around me, most of them staunch rural German Catholics, saw children as labor around the farm, chore boys, and household help. These purveyors of the old way of doing things saw no value in young minds until they’d been indoctrinated by the church, school and authorities. ‘Dick and Jane visit the farm’ was not the approach I was going to take in telling my story of this skinny insecure hippo.

Book one was a rather simple story of a hippopotamus that wasn’t like all the other hippos. Waleed was skinny and feeling very unsure of himself because of his slender physique instead of the robust form of the other hippos. Gradually, the story evolved into a children’s moral tale or fable with a wise old fish, indifferent fellow hippos and one sad little guy.

Book Two took the same kind of projection. It covered the theme of ‘facing one’s fears.’ Both ‘being different’ and ‘facing one’s fears’ were emotions I felt at a very young age but never had an adult who could explain them to me. Meeting with Dr. Bergen was very helpful in terms of my understanding the child’s mind at that early stage in life.

Dr. Bergen reminded me that Waleed like Sophia only think of themselves at this stage in their development. First me, then others. So, my goal in telling both stories was to educate Waleed but also to think of others. Dr. Bergen encouraged me not be afraid to use big words. She said it would not intimidate children like Sophia.

The most interesting part of our conversation were her suggestions for future themes in the Waleed series. I’ve outlined in very rough form some of the thoughts Dr. Bergen shared with me that day.

Sadness

Events where a child might feel sadness include a grandparent passing, a pet is lost or dies, divorce, moving away and leaving friends, can’t have that toy. In these instances of a child feeling sadness, the response from a parents should be: It’s okay.  I get it.  Happiness will return but perhaps not right now. This event might tell the child how important that thing/item/person/event is to them in their lives.

Anger

Teaching about anger can lead to social justice. Parent tell child that it is okay to be angry. They can say: Use your words to express your feelings. Get them out. Understand what it is (person, incident, event) that makes you feel this way. Now, what can we do with that energy (of being angry.)

Connections

It can be hard if you want to join a group or make a new friend. Ask an adult to help make those connections.  Be brave. The way to make connections might be to help others, join a group. It can be scary but you must keep trying. It is okay to take a chance, take a risk that someone will not be nice to you in return or may not want you to join the group. But you MUST keep trying to make connections. Take a chance even with the fear of failure.

Failure

Everyone feels the fear of failure. Failure is a part of life. It is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried in the first place. No one will ever ‘not fail.’ Anything worth doing, pursuing, trying to achieve is worth the chance of failing at attempting it. Failure is NOT the issue. How one handles failure is the more important thing to know and understand.

When I’m ready to begin a third book in the Waleed series, I think my theme will be ‘being kind.’ There’s a plethora of examples that should lend themselves to some very colorful visual images.

1. Being kind
1. Helping others
2. Thinking of others
3. Lending a helping hand
4. Caring for someone else
5. Being aware of other’s feelings
6. Being supportive in their time of need.

My goal, as always, will be to help the young reader identify with my Waleed character much like readers identified with characters in the Harry Potter series and creatures created by Dr. Seuss. I’ll be trying to find more Sophia’s out there to discover my favorite little hippo.

Mind Cures

Like so many young people of my generation, I was swept up in the popular trends of self-help back in the sixties and seventies. Those champions of mind-control, critical analysis and self-direction seemed to have the answers to all those questions bouncing around inside my head.

From a hip ghetto priest to a Mexican shaman to a wealth-analyzing rabbi, I was buying the whole package. I wanted to be rich and successful, or so I thought, just like everyone else around me. There was religious advice, medicinal advice, and common-sense advice; all packaged in easily readable chapters. About the same time, reel-to-reel audio tapes grew in popularity and whole audio packages were tailored to the consuming public eager for ‘the answer’ to success.

Yet even before that ‘something new’ packaging caught the public’s attention; I was aware of such classics as ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napolean Hill from 1937. Examples before that like Horatio Algier and other champions of Great Depression cemented that picture of young entrepreneurial men seeking the golden ring of life.

The 1980s saw a rebirth of that theory of mind over matter with champions of the cause like Zig Zigler, Brian Tracy, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ and ‘Chicken soup for the soul,’ etc.

Back in the eighties, while marketing my own video productions, I toyed with the idea of adding a whole new line of self-help books and tapes to my distribution channel. Unfortunately, the competition was fierce and I didn’t have the capitol available for that side venture. So, I remained a buyer instead of a seller.

So, while the basics of a good work ethic was always there, these new approaches seemed much easier and more appealing. Guess I wasn’t the only one sucked into that cauldron of ‘something for nothing.’

Truth is, this capitalistic stance of ‘too good to be true’ and ‘gotta have’ material goods has been around since the first caveman found a pedestal upon which to preach. What’s interesting is that its most current revival began back in the late 1800s. From a recent reading of ‘Land of Desire,’ a history of Merchants, Power, and the rise of a new American Culture’ I gleamed a fascinating insight into the growth of the self-help movement in American beginning in the 1870s.

“Psychologist William James first called attention to the mind-cure movement in a notable way in his 1902 book ‘The Varieties of Religious Experience.’ The term had already been in vogue before, but James secured its place in history.

Mind-cure groups, he observed, consisted of several religious sects that maintained that men and women could, merely by acts of will and conviction, cure their own diseases and create heaven on earth.

Mind curers were also described as “new healers” or, later, as positive thinkers; they were more in touch than traditional religions with what was going on in America; and they proved more creative in taking advantages of new spiritual opportunities. Translation: a buck to be made.

The mind-cure groups grew out of the great religious turmoil of the 1870s and 1880s, a turning point in American religious history that not only saw the advent of many homegrown religious sects (from Ethical Culture to Jehovah’s Witnesses) but marked the decline of the preeminence of Protestantism, its earliest splintering into modernist and fundamentalist camps, and the rise of other religious communities and ideas.

Where there’s a will and a way, and in capitalistic America, money can be made with the informed offering something’ new’ to the uninformed. There were few counter-balances back at the turn of the century who were willing to shout their concerns into the wind. One of them was Thorstein Veblen, one of America’s most original economists of his time.  While he agreed that ‘the ancient Christian principles of humility, renunciation, abnegation or nonresistance had been virtually eliminated from the moral scene, he did not agree that the new capitalist world was ensuring abundance for all.’

Veblen despised this new class of business broker for shifting the economy away from making useful goods to making money or profit. These new brokers, he argued, ’knew nothing about workmanship but everything about profit, volume turnover, and the chemistry of wishes.’

Mulling over that history lesson harkens me back to my grade school years and all that indoctrination from my teachers and the adults around me. Those were the lessons of hard work, determination and some luck in finding success in life. Two different sets of directions to the road to success. While I bought into some of the positive mindset commandments, I never believed that Las Vegas crap tables, flipping old houses or gold bullion were the answers for me. It always remained balanced investments, budgeting, and a realistic lifestyle for Sharon and I.

2008 saw another blip in the ‘road to easy success’ with adjustable-rate mortgages, buying on credit, nothing down, etc. (same game plan – same result). Lately, it’s been flipping real estate, Bitcoin, ATFs, Robinhood and other exotic money-sucking ventures; all the newest versions of ‘spin the bottle.’ Something for nothing, easy way out, let someone else have the control and do it for you.’

Today’s latest high priest of mind cure unwraps itself under the banner of mindfulness. The biggest difference between then and now seems to be an appreciation for the ever-present simple things we all possess. It’s a present-day, realistic attitude for the gift of life itself. It’s an inward focus on self and one’s own control there-in verses outside influences that usually come at a cost or words from the pulpit that simply echo ancient voices of our for-profit past.